The biggest thing and there are many is the fact that I robbed myself of the chance to be a Mother to my children and robbed them of a Mother. I spent the better part of my life addicted to drugs in and out of different institutions and moving from one place to another. I wasn't around to be a Mother to my children I guess sometimes history does repeat itself since I didn't see my Mother much when I was growing up.
My kids are now grown and my daughter even has a daughter of her own. I see my granddaughter grow and I think of all things I missed with my own kids and it makes me sad.
I know there's no way I can ever change the past and no way to make up for missing them grow and become the people they are. I just hope that someday I will find a way to forgive myself and that they can someday forgive me.
I forgive you mommy. I have always forgiven you. So don't feel bad. All things happened for a reason. I love you!
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